oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He felt like a one man threesome
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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