Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
