i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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