i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize