dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I understand Curling. That high.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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