either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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