Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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