Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
