Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
