Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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