So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
