I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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