You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
