I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
