but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
