There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
