At least make sure they are 18
Why
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
