Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize