South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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