My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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