Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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