i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
