i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
