when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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