I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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