can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
