wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
