It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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