i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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