yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
