i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I party with great urgency now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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