If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
