Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
In other news, I just burned my penis
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
