who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
