This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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