Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
