Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
