Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
