i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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