I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
