words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
