Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
