Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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