Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
