Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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