Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
