So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
