I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
