3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
