He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Someone shit on the floor
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Randomize
