sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
