Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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