I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
