Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
