we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
